The Celtic Enchantress (Poem)

The distant wails of harps,

The rhythmic rolls of timbrels,

And the song of an enchantress,

Evoking the ghosts of her land...

A song that told of legends unheard,

A song that sang about the glory of a past,

A song that whispered the murmurs of love,

A song that seeped into my heart...

I, me an' me-self was surrounded

By the silence of this music,

As I stood atop a misty hill,

In a far away unknown Celtic land.

***********************************

Inspired by the Celtic music by Loreena McKennitt that I've been listening to again and again since the past three days.

Silhouette (Short story)

Chapter I

I loved Ana and she loved me too. Seven years of a love life that culminated in a marriage and that's me-self and Ana. We were a perfect example of that "couples made in heaven". Our friends called us 'love birds'; said that one cannot be without the other and it was no exaggeration. I remember the time when she had to go abroad for her higher studies when we were three years into the relationship. Not on a single night in her two years stay abroad she failed to call me. My mobile would start ringing with the clock ticking 10.

And the day of her return was ever so dramatic too. There was tight security arrangements at the airport 'coz of the arrival of some VVIP and no one was allowed to stand around. But she told me before she started from there that it was my face that she wanted to see the first when she returned. And I was determined to satisfy her wish. And so with the help of a friend I booked an air ticket for me-self so that I could be inside the airport when she landed. The rest is history... And as soon as I got settled in a permanent job, I just walked into her home and asked her parents for her hand. They were all too happy for us for they knew how long we have been together and they liked me for a son-in-law.

We decided not to have children for at least two years and enjoyed the much awaited life-together to its fullest. Just 8 months into our marriage full of happier moments and eternal bliss and fate had a different ending to our love story. We met with a fatal road accident when we were driving back after attending a play which she always wished to see. I still remember the events of that night - I had booked the tickets and was home early. At 7 in the evening the door opened and she walked in looking all tired and fatigued. She flashed a weak smile at me when she came in. She was too tired to express her surprise at finding me home early.

"Take a bath dear girl. The water is still warm and waiting for you in the tub."

She looked at me and said, "Oh! please Sam. Not now. Not right away..."

As a reply to that I just swooped her off her feet, walked into our bedroom, got her undressed and pushed her into the bathroom. The sight of steam and the scent of aromatic oils rising from the tub had her completely bowled.

"What do you want Sam?"

"I just need you to take a bath and join me for dinner", I said and shut the door without waiting for her reply.

I made bread toasts and egg fries which she loved and had our glasses filled with the finest of red vines that one of our friend had gifted us. I could see the sense of awe when she came to the table clad in her bathing robe.

"What's this all about? Why?..."

"Just have your food and we are going out"

"Going out? To night? Oh no Sam! I'm really not in any mood for outdoors..."

Before she could complete I pushed the tickets for the play  in front of her. Just one look at it and she was all perked up. Her face became all pink with excitement and in one leap she was around my neck kissing me and jumping like a kid. Within minutes we got dressed up and was on our way for the play. It was the staging of 'Othello' by an armature group of artists and they did it pretty well. A packet full of tissue papers soaked in her tears were rolling on the floor when we left the theater. She insisted that she'd drive back home and I let her knowing that a "no" from me would better be said to a wall. And maybe 'coz she was too tired or maybe it's just the fate that made her doze off while driving and all I remember about the whole accident is the high beam of an on coming truck on my face.

I woke, the next morning in a hospital bed and felt a pain searing through my shoulder. I couldn't move and when I tried, a moan just escaped me that caught the attention of the aged nurse who just walked into the room. She smiled a sweet smile at me and came near my bed.

"Don't try to move, son. Your spine is injured and you have got your bones in your shoulders dislocated..."

"Where is Ana?", I shouted back before she could complete.

"She's ok. You need rest..."

"Oh! Come on! Where the hell is Ana", I shouted at the top of my voice and that's when my best friend Ekan walked in. He caught my hand and said in his usual calm tone, "Calm down Sam. Ana is just fine. She's in another room. I'll take you to her the moment you're able to move around. But now you need real rest".

"But Ekan. Ana..."

"I told you she's all right. Trust me."

Another two weeks passed with the same drama repeating almost every morning and Ekan walks in and calms me down. His presence was soothing. He inspired trust and faith in me.

On the first day of the third week all the bandages were removed and my shoulder was safely tucked in a collar. I could barely stand up but I couldn't wait any longer to meet Ana. It was Ekan who escorted me to her room. She was deep asleep when I perched on the bed near her head. There weren't much apparent damage to her except a stitch mark on her temple. I was relieved. I placed a kiss on her forehead and sat there looking at my girl sleeping so peacefully for a few seconds.

"Now listen to this patiently. Do not panic for there is still hope left", Ekan started talking without a warning.

"Shhh...", I said, "You'll wake her up".

Now, Ekan came and sat on the chair near me and held my hands and said, "No. She wouldn't wake up that easily. The doctors are doing their best and as I said, there's still hope left".

His words sounded Greek to me and I said, "What?"

"In the accident she got a piece of glass from the wind shield pierce through her skull and into her brain. By God's grace she was still alive when she was brought to the hospital. The doctors did remove it but she has slipped into a coma after the operation..."

"Noooooooo", and there was an engulfing silence.

I quit my job and for another year I was home bound attending to her day in and day out. I read out stories, sung her favourite songs to her deaf ears. I fed her her favourite foods but which her tongue could never taste again. I sometimes saw tears rolling down her eyes and assuming that she was crying, I mopped it off with a kiss. I sat near her sleepless through nights together, just looking at her blank eyes that never blinked and when I felt she was feeling sleepy, I'd just pull her eyelids down.

And one fine morning as I was giving her a sponge bath her hands fell on mine. I looked into her eyes to see whether there was any sign of life in it. But all I could see was a mocking death staring back at me. I then heard her begging me to free her of the pain she was undergoing. The next thing I knew, I was holding the pillow over her face and in a few seconds that felt like hours that we would ever spent together in this life time, she was dead. "She dead?... Ha! Ha! Ha!" I heard death mocking at me with a guffaw. And then there was a profound silence. Within minutes I realized what had happened. But I didn't cry. I didn't feel guilty about my act. I knew I did the right thing. I just rang up Ekan and asked him to come over.

Ekan listened to my story and reaffirmed my belief. Yes. It is no murder. I could've never killed my Ana. I was just relieving her of her pains.

Chapter II:

A few months has passed since Ana's death and sitting alone at the beach on late evenings was something I loved ever since I made me-self a widower. The cool breeze on my face and the silence interrupted only by the rumbling of the sea had a soothing effect on my torn heart. I'd sit there every evening till night and I'd walk back to my apartment. This became a routine with me which I seldom broke.

In one such lonely evening at the beach I felt I had an uninvited company. There was this man sitting a few meters behind me on a bench. He had a top hat, sunglasses and that's all the details I could make out about this stranger 'coz the flash light beaming from behind him silhouetted his profile to me. He kept staring at me and I felt rather unnerved at this. I pretended to look away from him but was aware of his eyes on me. I got up and when I turned back towards him, wosh... he had disappeared! I looked around in every direction but couldn't find him. The walk back to my apartment was not as easy as it used to be. I kept feeling his eyes on my back, my every move though he was nowhere in the vicinity.

Two days had passed and I never found him again. I relaxed but the on the third day I saw him again against the park light, silhouetted, when I was having a little chat with Ekan.

"Can you see that man over there?"

Ekan looked in the direction that I very discreetly pointed. But the moment he turned to look at him the man just got up and walked away. He had a distinctive strut when he walked as if he was groping in the dark. But in a flash of a second he turned and stepped out of the park. The both of us tried to trail him but he had disappeared.

"What do you think?", I turned to Ekan and asked him with an unknown fear burning in my eyes.

"Hm... Can't say. What do you think?"

"I don't know. Are you sure you never told about Ana to anyone?"

"My good Lord! What are you saying? Don't you trust me?"

"It's not that. But...?"

"Now, don't get cooked up. No one is going to dig up Ana from her grave and find out what happened. Besides, I told you, you didn't do anything wrong. If Ana could speak to you right now, I'm sure she'll tell you the same. This is something else. Stop worrying. I'll find out about this stalker. Leave it to me", said Ekan and pressed my hands.

But I was not convinced. Straight from the park, I walked to the cemetery and sat near Ana's grave. I prayed with all my heart that she'd just emerge out of her grave and be with me again. After a few moments of subdued silence I got up and turned back to find the same man at the gate of the cemetery. Again the light behind him from the street lamp silhouetted his details to me. But this time I was determined to confront the stalker. I was convinced that this had something to do with Ana's death and how long can I keep running away from the hands of the law if it's already behind me? After all, I'm a murderer in the eyes of the law. When has law considered any acts of nobility? And why should I bother to explain things and go through the pain of attorneys ripping my soul apart by calling me a murderer of Ana? I better surrender and accept whatever charges are levied on me. After all, I'm no crook and if the law of the land feels otherwise and want to punish me, let it. I have nothing more to loose and so have nothing to fear.

The moment I saw him turning back and walk away I paced up to him. The nearer I got I saw that he wore a tattered coat and had a walking stick in his hand. I stopped for a second. I found it difficult to rationalise my thoughts.

"Excuse me", I said.

The man didn't appear to have heard me for he kept walking away from me.

"Excuse me", I rather shouted out this time and the man stopped. I ran to him and the moment I reached near him, the whole picture fell in place.

He was just a homeless blind old tramp.

"Yes sir. Can I help you?", he said in a shaky voice.

Now, I was speechless and didn't know what to do. My senses were all getting mixed up. I stood there like a frog just ran over by a truck on a high way.

"Sir? Are you there? Is there anyone near me?", he swung his guiding stick around him and it hit me on my leg and that brought me back to my senses.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Forgive this old man. I'm blind, you see?", he said in a very apologetic voice.

"That's all right."

"Can I help you sir?"

"Oh no. I just wanted to give you this", I said and rolled a couple of 100 rupees notes into his hands.

"But sir..."

"That's ok. It's my b'day today and I always give money to the poor on my b'day"

"Oh! Thank you. Thank you, sir. You'll be blessed. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and he rambled away from me humming a christian song and a very happy man.

And me... Well, I leave that to your imagination...

A Soul's Prayer (Poem)

Dwelt I, once in a body -
A body of flesh and bones.
I was the body, I was the soul.
But soul in body,
Hidden from the eyes of the world.
Hence, saw none my soul
But my body and only my body.

Dead and cold is my body now.
And so is my blood, flesh and bones,
But not the soul that I'm.
I'm still warm and whatever that I was
When I was also a body.

My mortal case has rotten and perished.
I'm no longer hidden in a fleshy mass,
But liberated and a soul that I'm.
No longer can I be touched by worldly sins,
And I'm pure and perfect now.
Yet, seen by none I'm!

O lord! Almighty!
Hear my prayers this once -
Next time you shape a creation,
Make it body in soul
And not soul in body.

My Mother (Poem)

On the lap of my mother
I cuddled as an infant.
I cried, I screamed, I puked...
Made noices, the reasons for
I never realised.
But my mother understood those
For she fed me from her breast,
Pampered me to sleep.

Twenty and odd years have galloped by.
No longer on the lap of my mother
Do I cuddle like an infant.
Yet, I cry, I scream, I yell...
Make noises and I'm aware of
the reasons for it.

How strange?

No longer does my mother understand those
For she too cries, screams, yells...
With me and spend many sleepless nights,
Worrying for her kid.

ഒരു പ്രണയഗീതം (Malayalam Poem)

പാടുന്നു ഞാനെന്‍ പ്രണയഗീതങ്ങളൊക്കെയും
അത് മഴയായി പൈതീടിലും
കാറ്റായ് വീശീടിലും
പുഴയായി താഴുകീടിലും...
അറിയുന്നീല ദൂരത്തിരിപ്പവളൊരു
ഹിമം പൈതോഴിയുന്ന കുന്നിന്‍ ചെരുവിലും.
അറിയുന്നീല അവളെന്‍
ഹൃദയം വെന്തുരുകുന്ന വേദനയും.

Another poem in my mother tongue. I wrote this when I was in my college and was wistfully eying the girl of my dreams.

It says:

I sing a thousand love songs,
Those songs have rained down on you,
Those songs have smothered you as a breeze,
Those songs have touched you as a dainty stream...
Yet she never heard it
'coz she was so far away,
Away at some misty foothills.
And she was not aware of the pain

Of a heart that's pining for her.

കാലം (Malayalam Poem)

നോക്കി നില്‍ക്ക മനുഷ്യനും ,
കാലം പോം സമയത്തിന്‍ ,
തടയില്ലാത്ത വഴികളിലുടെ .


ചിന്തിച്ചു നില്‍കാന്‍ വയ്യ ,
ഞാന്‍ സജ്ജരിപതു ,
സമയത്തിന്‍ ഇടനഴികളിലൂടെയല്ലോ?

This is a poem that I wrote in my mother tongue. And here is the English version of it.

The man is just a on looker
of the Life that travels the
Path not bound by time.

I can't stand waiting,
'coz I travel the
Path laid by time.

Oh! I lost her in Casablanca (Poem)

That fair lady, I had forever dreamed off,
The one with the face of an angel never seen before,
The one with the dainty hands and feet,
The one with the lips… Oh!
If she could kiss me to death,
I’d choose a million deaths at her lips.

But who is she?
What divinity in her eyes?
And what’s that scent that she brings along?
I had ever searched for her in my dreams,
In my wakefulness,
Searched for her ever, over and over again,

I searched for her across the seas,
Across the mountains,
Across the valleys…
And I found her in Casablanca.
Yes! In Casablanca and with Richard.

She was torn between two loves.
One for her husband and the other for her Love.
I saw her crying in Richard’s arms,
Saying, “I no longer know what’s right any longer.
You’ll have to think for both of us”.
And the man said, “All right. I will”.

But those tears burned my soul.
How I wished I could be by her side,
Given my shoulder for her to cry on.
I’d have kissed her pains away.
Kissed away those tears on her cheek,
And held her closer to my heart.

Now, her husband was fighting for a cause,
Which the Germans didn’t approve of.
They wanted to put him behind the bars
And send him to a concentration camp.
Richard proposed to help the Germans,
But had other things in his mind.

The next thing, he shoots the cop and
Sends my fair lady and her husband in a plane to safety.
But not before telling her husband that she was his lover once.
“I can understand… And thank you”, said the gentle husband.
Hat’s off to Richard’s noble heart,
For he sacrificed his Love for his love,
And that was the “beginning of a beautiful friendship”.

But my story doesn’t end there.
How I wish I were there with another gun?
I’d have send a bullet through Richard's heart despite his nobility.
After all, love has no rules, do they?
I would’ve got my only chance to get her all for me-self!
But no. It didn’t happen that way.

And I lost my lady in Casablanca!
Oh! I lost her in Casablanca.
The one I’d have died a million deaths for.
The one I saw in my dreams.
The one I had ever searched for, over and over again.
And I still do - Across the sea, the mountains and the valleys…

Note: This might sound least like a poetry. Nevertheless, I had to write it as it is. Never have I seen a beauty like her before. I consider her the epitome of feminine beauty. Now, this is not the kind'a beauty that I get attracted to in any carnal sense. This is the kind of beauty that I'd want to build a temple for and worship for a life time. Ah! Just a look at her pic. and I'm lost! I kept watching her on my desktop (wall paper) for hours together. And I removed it the moment I realised that I can't be my normal self with her smiling at me from my desk top.


And I dedicate this to the most beautiful lady ever to have walked this earth.


"Oh! Ingrid. How I wish you were there by my side to listen to me sing my heart's song in praise of your beauty!"

The Encounter (Short story)

The sky was clear and blue about half hour back. Never has the Sunday sky been so blue since the rain started. Perhaps, it was my instincts that asked me to carry along my umbrella when I went out shopping for my fiancée. She was bed ridden with a badly sprained left knee and said she’s in need of some good books to pass her idling hours.

And, there I was, buying books and DVDs for my dear lady, when it started pouring heavily without a warning. The sudden down pour caused quite a commotion in the streets. People ran helter-skelter for a shelter. Within no time the streets started flooding and nevertheless to say, the street where I stood had the poorest drainage system (or so it seemed), for we had water up to the door steps of the shop within minutes since it started raining. Feeling a bit gay, I wrapped the purchase neatly in a plastic bag and tucked it under my arm, opened my umbrella and stood at the side street, enjoying the rain and the cool drizzle that the wind brought on to my face.

Seconds ticked by and I stood there humming a favourite tune. I noticed a black sedan that came to a halt across the street and a few seconds later, the driver started honking like mad. He pulled down the window, put his hand outside and stated shaking it like he was calling someone. Before I could turn around and look for who he was calling, a lady just stepped into my umbrella and said, “Can you please help me cross the street. I’m in a hurry”. Without waiting for a reply, she put her arm around my waist and pulled me along with her. Now, this was something I least expected and I had no choice than to succumb.

Within seconds we were near the car and she opened the door and got in. I stood there shocked and so thoroughly numb trying hard to figure out what had just happened!

“Thank you and hope we never meet again”, she said and pulled up the window. And before I could respond the car moved away.

But that touch, that sound, the smell of that perfume… Seemed so familiar! But… But who?

And in a flash it all dawned on me.

Yes. It was her. My first love who left me all soul-shattered and heart-broken when she ran away with another guy after being with me for nearly five years. Those were the worst days of my life, trying to recover from a most unexpected blow. It was never easy until I met Eve.

It was a chance meeting in a book store that I had with Evelyn and before I realized anything, I was engaged to this most wonderful woman I’ve ever come across in my life. Soon I began to reconcile with my past and promised myself never to dwell in the hurts of yester years. I started dreaming again, being hopeful about things… I started living again.

And now… Meeting her again and that too in such an unexpected situation was thoroughly an unnerving experience. My emotions were all mixed up when I walked back to Eve’s apartment. Those past hurts, the anger, the rage, the deep-deep sorrow and all that had just sprang back like a dragon with claws from nowhere.

“What happened? Something wrong?”, Eve asked me when I sat on the chair that I pulled near her bed.

“Ah! Nothing…”, I said in a weak tone.

“Come on. That’s not true. I can read it on your face. Tell me na…”

“Eve …” and that’s all I could say. The next moment I had my arms around her and our lips were locked in a most blissful kiss ever.

The kiss, it seemed, lasted for, I don’t know how long? But when it was over, I had tears in my eyes and Eve was looking deep into it.

“It was her, wasn’t it?”, Eve asked without taking her eyes off mine.

“Yes. But… Eve…”

“That’s ok. I can understand. First love is always the best or the worst experience in anyone’s life. It’s ok, dear”, she said and spread her arms wide open.

Being held close to her chest I knew that there could never be a better place for me in this whole wide world.