My Cat! (Sketch)

Yahooooo! I can still draw! It's been ages since I took a pencil in hand for drawing. If I remember well, I drew my last picture when I was in my 9th standard and that was around 11 years ago! After that I could not, as much draw a straight line in free hand. I used to feel too bad about this. But today, while sitting at my desk in my office, staring empty at the pic. of my cat on my desktop, I, almost involuntarily, took a sketch pen in hand and began to draw. And before I could even realize, I completed the picture. It's nothing to boast or to write home about. Yet... For a person who has not been able to do that for ages now, it was kind'a self discovery.

Here's the pic. that I sketched today.

The Celtic Enchantress (Poem)

The distant wails of harps,

The rhythmic rolls of timbrels,

And the song of an enchantress,

Evoking the ghosts of her land...

A song that told of legends unheard,

A song that sang about the glory of a past,

A song that whispered the murmurs of love,

A song that seeped into my heart...

I, me an' me-self was surrounded

By the silence of this music,

As I stood atop a misty hill,

In a far away unknown Celtic land.

***********************************

Inspired by the Celtic music by Loreena McKennitt that I've been listening to again and again since the past three days.

Silhouette (Short story)

Chapter I

I loved Ana and she loved me too. Seven years of a love life that culminated in a marriage and that's me-self and Ana. We were a perfect example of that "couples made in heaven". Our friends called us 'love birds'; said that one cannot be without the other and it was no exaggeration. I remember the time when she had to go abroad for her higher studies when we were three years into the relationship. Not on a single night in her two years stay abroad she failed to call me. My mobile would start ringing with the clock ticking 10.

And the day of her return was ever so dramatic too. There was tight security arrangements at the airport 'coz of the arrival of some VVIP and no one was allowed to stand around. But she told me before she started from there that it was my face that she wanted to see the first when she returned. And I was determined to satisfy her wish. And so with the help of a friend I booked an air ticket for me-self so that I could be inside the airport when she landed. The rest is history... And as soon as I got settled in a permanent job, I just walked into her home and asked her parents for her hand. They were all too happy for us for they knew how long we have been together and they liked me for a son-in-law.

We decided not to have children for at least two years and enjoyed the much awaited life-together to its fullest. Just 8 months into our marriage full of happier moments and eternal bliss and fate had a different ending to our love story. We met with a fatal road accident when we were driving back after attending a play which she always wished to see. I still remember the events of that night - I had booked the tickets and was home early. At 7 in the evening the door opened and she walked in looking all tired and fatigued. She flashed a weak smile at me when she came in. She was too tired to express her surprise at finding me home early.

"Take a bath dear girl. The water is still warm and waiting for you in the tub."

She looked at me and said, "Oh! please Sam. Not now. Not right away..."

As a reply to that I just swooped her off her feet, walked into our bedroom, got her undressed and pushed her into the bathroom. The sight of steam and the scent of aromatic oils rising from the tub had her completely bowled.

"What do you want Sam?"

"I just need you to take a bath and join me for dinner", I said and shut the door without waiting for her reply.

I made bread toasts and egg fries which she loved and had our glasses filled with the finest of red vines that one of our friend had gifted us. I could see the sense of awe when she came to the table clad in her bathing robe.

"What's this all about? Why?..."

"Just have your food and we are going out"

"Going out? To night? Oh no Sam! I'm really not in any mood for outdoors..."

Before she could complete I pushed the tickets for the play  in front of her. Just one look at it and she was all perked up. Her face became all pink with excitement and in one leap she was around my neck kissing me and jumping like a kid. Within minutes we got dressed up and was on our way for the play. It was the staging of 'Othello' by an armature group of artists and they did it pretty well. A packet full of tissue papers soaked in her tears were rolling on the floor when we left the theater. She insisted that she'd drive back home and I let her knowing that a "no" from me would better be said to a wall. And maybe 'coz she was too tired or maybe it's just the fate that made her doze off while driving and all I remember about the whole accident is the high beam of an on coming truck on my face.

I woke, the next morning in a hospital bed and felt a pain searing through my shoulder. I couldn't move and when I tried, a moan just escaped me that caught the attention of the aged nurse who just walked into the room. She smiled a sweet smile at me and came near my bed.

"Don't try to move, son. Your spine is injured and you have got your bones in your shoulders dislocated..."

"Where is Ana?", I shouted back before she could complete.

"She's ok. You need rest..."

"Oh! Come on! Where the hell is Ana", I shouted at the top of my voice and that's when my best friend Ekan walked in. He caught my hand and said in his usual calm tone, "Calm down Sam. Ana is just fine. She's in another room. I'll take you to her the moment you're able to move around. But now you need real rest".

"But Ekan. Ana..."

"I told you she's all right. Trust me."

Another two weeks passed with the same drama repeating almost every morning and Ekan walks in and calms me down. His presence was soothing. He inspired trust and faith in me.

On the first day of the third week all the bandages were removed and my shoulder was safely tucked in a collar. I could barely stand up but I couldn't wait any longer to meet Ana. It was Ekan who escorted me to her room. She was deep asleep when I perched on the bed near her head. There weren't much apparent damage to her except a stitch mark on her temple. I was relieved. I placed a kiss on her forehead and sat there looking at my girl sleeping so peacefully for a few seconds.

"Now listen to this patiently. Do not panic for there is still hope left", Ekan started talking without a warning.

"Shhh...", I said, "You'll wake her up".

Now, Ekan came and sat on the chair near me and held my hands and said, "No. She wouldn't wake up that easily. The doctors are doing their best and as I said, there's still hope left".

His words sounded Greek to me and I said, "What?"

"In the accident she got a piece of glass from the wind shield pierce through her skull and into her brain. By God's grace she was still alive when she was brought to the hospital. The doctors did remove it but she has slipped into a coma after the operation..."

"Noooooooo", and there was an engulfing silence.

I quit my job and for another year I was home bound attending to her day in and day out. I read out stories, sung her favourite songs to her deaf ears. I fed her her favourite foods but which her tongue could never taste again. I sometimes saw tears rolling down her eyes and assuming that she was crying, I mopped it off with a kiss. I sat near her sleepless through nights together, just looking at her blank eyes that never blinked and when I felt she was feeling sleepy, I'd just pull her eyelids down.

And one fine morning as I was giving her a sponge bath her hands fell on mine. I looked into her eyes to see whether there was any sign of life in it. But all I could see was a mocking death staring back at me. I then heard her begging me to free her of the pain she was undergoing. The next thing I knew, I was holding the pillow over her face and in a few seconds that felt like hours that we would ever spent together in this life time, she was dead. "She dead?... Ha! Ha! Ha!" I heard death mocking at me with a guffaw. And then there was a profound silence. Within minutes I realized what had happened. But I didn't cry. I didn't feel guilty about my act. I knew I did the right thing. I just rang up Ekan and asked him to come over.

Ekan listened to my story and reaffirmed my belief. Yes. It is no murder. I could've never killed my Ana. I was just relieving her of her pains.

Chapter II:

A few months has passed since Ana's death and sitting alone at the beach on late evenings was something I loved ever since I made me-self a widower. The cool breeze on my face and the silence interrupted only by the rumbling of the sea had a soothing effect on my torn heart. I'd sit there every evening till night and I'd walk back to my apartment. This became a routine with me which I seldom broke.

In one such lonely evening at the beach I felt I had an uninvited company. There was this man sitting a few meters behind me on a bench. He had a top hat, sunglasses and that's all the details I could make out about this stranger 'coz the flash light beaming from behind him silhouetted his profile to me. He kept staring at me and I felt rather unnerved at this. I pretended to look away from him but was aware of his eyes on me. I got up and when I turned back towards him, wosh... he had disappeared! I looked around in every direction but couldn't find him. The walk back to my apartment was not as easy as it used to be. I kept feeling his eyes on my back, my every move though he was nowhere in the vicinity.

Two days had passed and I never found him again. I relaxed but the on the third day I saw him again against the park light, silhouetted, when I was having a little chat with Ekan.

"Can you see that man over there?"

Ekan looked in the direction that I very discreetly pointed. But the moment he turned to look at him the man just got up and walked away. He had a distinctive strut when he walked as if he was groping in the dark. But in a flash of a second he turned and stepped out of the park. The both of us tried to trail him but he had disappeared.

"What do you think?", I turned to Ekan and asked him with an unknown fear burning in my eyes.

"Hm... Can't say. What do you think?"

"I don't know. Are you sure you never told about Ana to anyone?"

"My good Lord! What are you saying? Don't you trust me?"

"It's not that. But...?"

"Now, don't get cooked up. No one is going to dig up Ana from her grave and find out what happened. Besides, I told you, you didn't do anything wrong. If Ana could speak to you right now, I'm sure she'll tell you the same. This is something else. Stop worrying. I'll find out about this stalker. Leave it to me", said Ekan and pressed my hands.

But I was not convinced. Straight from the park, I walked to the cemetery and sat near Ana's grave. I prayed with all my heart that she'd just emerge out of her grave and be with me again. After a few moments of subdued silence I got up and turned back to find the same man at the gate of the cemetery. Again the light behind him from the street lamp silhouetted his details to me. But this time I was determined to confront the stalker. I was convinced that this had something to do with Ana's death and how long can I keep running away from the hands of the law if it's already behind me? After all, I'm a murderer in the eyes of the law. When has law considered any acts of nobility? And why should I bother to explain things and go through the pain of attorneys ripping my soul apart by calling me a murderer of Ana? I better surrender and accept whatever charges are levied on me. After all, I'm no crook and if the law of the land feels otherwise and want to punish me, let it. I have nothing more to loose and so have nothing to fear.

The moment I saw him turning back and walk away I paced up to him. The nearer I got I saw that he wore a tattered coat and had a walking stick in his hand. I stopped for a second. I found it difficult to rationalise my thoughts.

"Excuse me", I said.

The man didn't appear to have heard me for he kept walking away from me.

"Excuse me", I rather shouted out this time and the man stopped. I ran to him and the moment I reached near him, the whole picture fell in place.

He was just a homeless blind old tramp.

"Yes sir. Can I help you?", he said in a shaky voice.

Now, I was speechless and didn't know what to do. My senses were all getting mixed up. I stood there like a frog just ran over by a truck on a high way.

"Sir? Are you there? Is there anyone near me?", he swung his guiding stick around him and it hit me on my leg and that brought me back to my senses.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Forgive this old man. I'm blind, you see?", he said in a very apologetic voice.

"That's all right."

"Can I help you sir?"

"Oh no. I just wanted to give you this", I said and rolled a couple of 100 rupees notes into his hands.

"But sir..."

"That's ok. It's my b'day today and I always give money to the poor on my b'day"

"Oh! Thank you. Thank you, sir. You'll be blessed. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and he rambled away from me humming a christian song and a very happy man.

And me... Well, I leave that to your imagination...

A Soul's Prayer (Poem)

Dwelt I, once in a body -
A body of flesh and bones.
I was the body, I was the soul.
But soul in body,
Hidden from the eyes of the world.
Hence, saw none my soul
But my body and only my body.

Dead and cold is my body now.
And so is my blood, flesh and bones,
But not the soul that I'm.
I'm still warm and whatever that I was
When I was also a body.

My mortal case has rotten and perished.
I'm no longer hidden in a fleshy mass,
But liberated and a soul that I'm.
No longer can I be touched by worldly sins,
And I'm pure and perfect now.
Yet, seen by none I'm!

O lord! Almighty!
Hear my prayers this once -
Next time you shape a creation,
Make it body in soul
And not soul in body.

My Mother (Poem)

On the lap of my mother
I cuddled as an infant.
I cried, I screamed, I puked...
Made noices, the reasons for
I never realised.
But my mother understood those
For she fed me from her breast,
Pampered me to sleep.

Twenty and odd years have galloped by.
No longer on the lap of my mother
Do I cuddle like an infant.
Yet, I cry, I scream, I yell...
Make noises and I'm aware of
the reasons for it.

How strange?

No longer does my mother understand those
For she too cries, screams, yells...
With me and spend many sleepless nights,
Worrying for her kid.

ഒരു പ്രണയഗീതം (Malayalam Poem)

പാടുന്നു ഞാനെന്‍ പ്രണയഗീതങ്ങളൊക്കെയും
അത് മഴയായി പൈതീടിലും
കാറ്റായ് വീശീടിലും
പുഴയായി താഴുകീടിലും...
അറിയുന്നീല ദൂരത്തിരിപ്പവളൊരു
ഹിമം പൈതോഴിയുന്ന കുന്നിന്‍ ചെരുവിലും.
അറിയുന്നീല അവളെന്‍
ഹൃദയം വെന്തുരുകുന്ന വേദനയും.

Another poem in my mother tongue. I wrote this when I was in my college and was wistfully eying the girl of my dreams.

It says:

I sing a thousand love songs,
Those songs have rained down on you,
Those songs have smothered you as a breeze,
Those songs have touched you as a dainty stream...
Yet she never heard it
'coz she was so far away,
Away at some misty foothills.
And she was not aware of the pain

Of a heart that's pining for her.

കാലം (Malayalam Poem)

നോക്കി നില്‍ക്ക മനുഷ്യനും ,
കാലം പോം സമയത്തിന്‍ ,
തടയില്ലാത്ത വഴികളിലുടെ .


ചിന്തിച്ചു നില്‍കാന്‍ വയ്യ ,
ഞാന്‍ സജ്ജരിപതു ,
സമയത്തിന്‍ ഇടനഴികളിലൂടെയല്ലോ?

This is a poem that I wrote in my mother tongue. And here is the English version of it.

The man is just a on looker
of the Life that travels the
Path not bound by time.

I can't stand waiting,
'coz I travel the
Path laid by time.

Oh! I lost her in Casablanca (Poem)

That fair lady, I had forever dreamed off,
The one with the face of an angel never seen before,
The one with the dainty hands and feet,
The one with the lips… Oh!
If she could kiss me to death,
I’d choose a million deaths at her lips.

But who is she?
What divinity in her eyes?
And what’s that scent that she brings along?
I had ever searched for her in my dreams,
In my wakefulness,
Searched for her ever, over and over again,

I searched for her across the seas,
Across the mountains,
Across the valleys…
And I found her in Casablanca.
Yes! In Casablanca and with Richard.

She was torn between two loves.
One for her husband and the other for her Love.
I saw her crying in Richard’s arms,
Saying, “I no longer know what’s right any longer.
You’ll have to think for both of us”.
And the man said, “All right. I will”.

But those tears burned my soul.
How I wished I could be by her side,
Given my shoulder for her to cry on.
I’d have kissed her pains away.
Kissed away those tears on her cheek,
And held her closer to my heart.

Now, her husband was fighting for a cause,
Which the Germans didn’t approve of.
They wanted to put him behind the bars
And send him to a concentration camp.
Richard proposed to help the Germans,
But had other things in his mind.

The next thing, he shoots the cop and
Sends my fair lady and her husband in a plane to safety.
But not before telling her husband that she was his lover once.
“I can understand… And thank you”, said the gentle husband.
Hat’s off to Richard’s noble heart,
For he sacrificed his Love for his love,
And that was the “beginning of a beautiful friendship”.

But my story doesn’t end there.
How I wish I were there with another gun?
I’d have send a bullet through Richard's heart despite his nobility.
After all, love has no rules, do they?
I would’ve got my only chance to get her all for me-self!
But no. It didn’t happen that way.

And I lost my lady in Casablanca!
Oh! I lost her in Casablanca.
The one I’d have died a million deaths for.
The one I saw in my dreams.
The one I had ever searched for, over and over again.
And I still do - Across the sea, the mountains and the valleys…

Note: This might sound least like a poetry. Nevertheless, I had to write it as it is. Never have I seen a beauty like her before. I consider her the epitome of feminine beauty. Now, this is not the kind'a beauty that I get attracted to in any carnal sense. This is the kind of beauty that I'd want to build a temple for and worship for a life time. Ah! Just a look at her pic. and I'm lost! I kept watching her on my desktop (wall paper) for hours together. And I removed it the moment I realised that I can't be my normal self with her smiling at me from my desk top.


And I dedicate this to the most beautiful lady ever to have walked this earth.


"Oh! Ingrid. How I wish you were there by my side to listen to me sing my heart's song in praise of your beauty!"

The Encounter (Short story)

The sky was clear and blue about half hour back. Never has the Sunday sky been so blue since the rain started. Perhaps, it was my instincts that asked me to carry along my umbrella when I went out shopping for my fiancée. She was bed ridden with a badly sprained left knee and said she’s in need of some good books to pass her idling hours.

And, there I was, buying books and DVDs for my dear lady, when it started pouring heavily without a warning. The sudden down pour caused quite a commotion in the streets. People ran helter-skelter for a shelter. Within no time the streets started flooding and nevertheless to say, the street where I stood had the poorest drainage system (or so it seemed), for we had water up to the door steps of the shop within minutes since it started raining. Feeling a bit gay, I wrapped the purchase neatly in a plastic bag and tucked it under my arm, opened my umbrella and stood at the side street, enjoying the rain and the cool drizzle that the wind brought on to my face.

Seconds ticked by and I stood there humming a favourite tune. I noticed a black sedan that came to a halt across the street and a few seconds later, the driver started honking like mad. He pulled down the window, put his hand outside and stated shaking it like he was calling someone. Before I could turn around and look for who he was calling, a lady just stepped into my umbrella and said, “Can you please help me cross the street. I’m in a hurry”. Without waiting for a reply, she put her arm around my waist and pulled me along with her. Now, this was something I least expected and I had no choice than to succumb.

Within seconds we were near the car and she opened the door and got in. I stood there shocked and so thoroughly numb trying hard to figure out what had just happened!

“Thank you and hope we never meet again”, she said and pulled up the window. And before I could respond the car moved away.

But that touch, that sound, the smell of that perfume… Seemed so familiar! But… But who?

And in a flash it all dawned on me.

Yes. It was her. My first love who left me all soul-shattered and heart-broken when she ran away with another guy after being with me for nearly five years. Those were the worst days of my life, trying to recover from a most unexpected blow. It was never easy until I met Eve.

It was a chance meeting in a book store that I had with Evelyn and before I realized anything, I was engaged to this most wonderful woman I’ve ever come across in my life. Soon I began to reconcile with my past and promised myself never to dwell in the hurts of yester years. I started dreaming again, being hopeful about things… I started living again.

And now… Meeting her again and that too in such an unexpected situation was thoroughly an unnerving experience. My emotions were all mixed up when I walked back to Eve’s apartment. Those past hurts, the anger, the rage, the deep-deep sorrow and all that had just sprang back like a dragon with claws from nowhere.

“What happened? Something wrong?”, Eve asked me when I sat on the chair that I pulled near her bed.

“Ah! Nothing…”, I said in a weak tone.

“Come on. That’s not true. I can read it on your face. Tell me na…”

“Eve …” and that’s all I could say. The next moment I had my arms around her and our lips were locked in a most blissful kiss ever.

The kiss, it seemed, lasted for, I don’t know how long? But when it was over, I had tears in my eyes and Eve was looking deep into it.

“It was her, wasn’t it?”, Eve asked without taking her eyes off mine.

“Yes. But… Eve…”

“That’s ok. I can understand. First love is always the best or the worst experience in anyone’s life. It’s ok, dear”, she said and spread her arms wide open.

Being held close to her chest I knew that there could never be a better place for me in this whole wide world.

Black and White (Poem)

I walked down those memory lanes long forbidden by time,

All alone, all in the night, in the darkness.

But I didn’t loose my way,

I never could have,

With the ghosts of memories as my companions.

They took my feet to that spot,

Below the barks of that ancient tree,

Where I first met her,

Where dreams were first made,

Where my life took a turn.

They played for me the vision of the past -

She walking towards me in that peacock green salwar,

Books in her hand, her long braided hair,

That smile on her lips and yet,

Cautious of herself and forgetful about the world around her.

They lead me to that portico in front of the library,

Where we had spent hours,

Looking into each others eyes,

Talk in the language of silence,

Sharing “sweet nothings”.

Life looked much greener then,

Though through my pink glasses.

There was love in the air,

Hopes, high up in the sky,

And every heart beat felt like a thud!

I’ve heard that ghosts see no colours,

For I saw all that in black and white.

Or maybe, it was the moon light.


I can still hear the fading tunes of a love song,
Never heard before and that'll never be heard.
But the music is so fine, rhythmic and insane,
That a heart that has learned to love and pine,
Can only listen to it. 

The peacock green has faded,

My heart beats have mellowed,

I see no lips smiling at me.

The sound of silence has become very loud,

Those “sweet nothings” have become nothing.

Funeral (Poem)

That mournful Sunday, I still remember,
The day, for my friend, that dusked forever.

People gathered in numbers,
Some faces familiar and some not,
To bid adieu on his last journey.

Tears of pearl that rolled down the cheeks,
The deepest pangs that lingered the hearts,
The silent grief of acceptance and
The grieved wails of non acceptance.
All these and more of displays,
To wreathe the mortal's case.

But the smile, I recollect, that played on his face,
As he lay couched in his case.
A smile so resplendent and of grace,
That the flower in my hand shied off at a gaze.
A smile that never decorated his face,
Never once in his soulful days.

I wonder what elation of thy heart,
that brings a smile so divine when one departs!

Is it the assurance of a dawn after the dusk?
Is it the happiness of ultimate liberation?
Or, is it the silent agreement
to the non-agreeable of the fleshy days?

My thoughts thus wound around
the stubborn negligence of realities.
But my hands didn't fail to scatter
the scoop of sand over the case.

The scoop that added to the heap
that keep the things forever underneath,
Hidden from the eyes that came to wreathe.

"Hello" (Poem)

When the phone bell rang and I saw her name flashing on the screen,

I missed a heart beat, I guess. Or was it two and one more?

I knew I always wished to hear her voice,

and all the more that day.

But this was a surprise I've been wishing for a long time.

I let it ring for a while before I picked it up.

Kept gazing at her name on the screen.

I answered the call with a kiss as silent as silence could be.

I didn't want her to know...

"Hello..."

Ah! That sound sank into my soul.

"Hello..."

What did we talk?

The 10 or odd minutes seemed like eternity.

I'd rather call it "sweet nothings".

Does she know about all this?

I dare not to let her know.

'coz I fear I may loose a good friend.

To me, a girl of my fancy is as much a friend.

But people seldom understand that.

"How can your girl friend be your friend?"

Oh no. A girl friend is a friend who is a girl.

Why should it have a different meaning?

And I don't know my "PYT" too well.

She might misunderstand me as well.

So let her think she's a friend who's a girl.

Oh! But... How much I wish I could listen to her voice again?

Over and over again...

And fill my heart with a melody never heard before!

PST: I know this is utter rubbish. I wrote it 'coz I couldn't keep it bottled in my heart.

Maybe it's all just a dream (Poem)

In the silence of the night,

Just me and the whirl of smoke,

Spiralling from a "burning stick of nonsense".

But is the night so silent?

No!

I hear a lot of sounds,

Sounds of the past, the present, the future.

Whispers of memories,

Voice of my loved one,

A soft melody of an etheral future,

Violent clatter of the past,

A cacophony of the present...

The night is dark,

It's so very dark. But oh!

What are these visions?

Castles in the air,

A barren land,

A tumultous river.

The night is so lonely,

But am I?

With all these eyes staring at me?

I'm not yet asleep,

The clock on the wall striked thrice.

Am I dreaming?

Maybe it's just a dream in a dream...

Or maybe...

It's all just a dream!

Blues & blue (Poem)

I spend my days of blues,

Alone under the sky so blue,

Even the sky seemed to be in  its blues,

Bleak and blue and no clouds flew.

And  then came the one in blue,

With hands and a panting heart,

To share my blues under the sky so blue.

The hand's touch blew the blues,

away from me without a clue.

The sky too appeared so bright and blue,

with clouds that flew over it's blue.

Thoughts (Poem)

Thoughts, thoughts, boundless thoughts,

They bloom with the flowers,

They blow with the wind,

They sway with the trees,

They shower with the rain,

They stream with the brooks, 

They flow with the rivers,

They tide with the ocean,

How strange?

The thoughts never end,

For, they dream with the dreams,

and think with the thoughts!

***************************************************

PST: And I call this a poem!!!!!

A song for my love... (Poem)

This one was written almost 5 years back when I met my first love at my college.

On a moon lit night,

When the mist holds tight,

O'er the top of a hill,

Our souls lay close still.

I take your hand in mine,

And steep it with a kiss divine.

Then when I look in your eyes,

I see our love shining soft and nice.

My arms then goes around you,

To embrace you to my soul,

And you dip your face into my chest,

where you find your world best.

Thus we stay for long,

With the moon light showering strong,

And the mist thickens around,

To form a blanket to keep us bound...

My thoughts thus travel it's way,

There are still more things to say...

"O, dear!", still more things to say...

But words are not just enough to say...

Amorous (Erotic short story)

I remember seeing her in the shopping mall, days ago. I was with my girl, out for a little shopping. Did I recognize her? "No", to be true to myself. I've never seen her before... Or have I???? I couldn't say that for sure. But I somehow knew her smell; knew the satin of her touch...

"Does this look good on me", asked my girl, holding a multi-coloured ethnic skirt to her waist.

She held her leg in an angle that made her look as if she was posing for some brand endorsement for that skirt. And did it look good on her? Oh ye! Why not? Anything looks good on her and... she looks even better with nothing's on her!

The very naive and bright smile on her face was enough to tell me that she badly wanted that outfit. Besides, when have I ever said a "No" to her? When have I ever missed a chance to see that smile spreading on her face, making her go all red and pink? And, when have I ever missed the chance of that little peck on my cheeks when she became happy? O God! She's the best thing to have happened to me...

But...

This other girl... No. I couldn't call her a 'girl'. This other female... Yes! That's the right word to describe her - "Female", 'coz she had nothing more than an amorous scent to her. She appeals to nothing but to the very basic of the 'Male' instinct.

For days since then, she kept popping in and out of my mind and every time, she brings in the same scent of carnal craving in my mind. I knew I wanted her... But wouldn't that mean cheating on my girl? Yes. It would. And I don't want to do that. I never can do that. Or... Can I? May be... Huh! What the hell?

***************************************************************************

I saw her in the silver of lightning. She was sitting near the open window looking at me. Her eyes were a black hole ready to suck me in. Her lips were moist with the blood of lust and her smile vicious enough to slit my throat. I knew what she was asking me for. But I was not sure whether I’d be able to give that.

The wind blew bringing in a spray of rain through the window. I saw the sprinkle trickle down her waxy bare shoulder. Her eyes never blinked a thither and she kept looking at me. Did she scare me? No. I’d rather say “I don’t know”. I felt a chill creeping through my veins. I gulped down the glass of whiskey on the table near me. 

I tried looking away from her, tried singing out aloud to distract myself. But No. She still kept staring at me. She was enjoying the effect with which she was pinning me down.

I got up from my chair with much difficulty. My legs couldn’t balance me. The whisky was showing its effect. Yet I got up. I swayed like a tree in the wind… The towel around my waist slipped and I gathered it around me hastily. She giggled at that. I felt like slapping her but… My blood started picking up the heat. I turned around to look at her.

She lay stretched on my bed on her chest. The dim yellow light of the bed lamp disappeared into the deep riff of her bare back. She was still looking at me. The same murderous smile playing on her lips. It seemed like an invitation to let her kill me. Was I afraid to die? No. I was not.

I walked up to my bed… For the next few moments (I don’t know for how long?) I… Some times I was sinking in my bed and sometimes I was in my all fours and sometimes even on my knees… The world reeled around me. I could see her no more. But at times I could feel barb wires tearing through the skin of my back… Could hear monstrous moans piercing through the thick, dark silence of the night… And suddenly POOF!!!! It was all over. I gasped for breath for a while. Or was it her??? I blacked-out. There was only the eerie rhythm of the blades of the fan slicing the air

When I woke up at the middle of the night I heard the feeble melody of the rain outside my window. And there was my girl lying near me. The sponging warmth of her skin on mine. I looked at her inanimate face close to mine in that yellow luminescence. Could I recognize her? Oh yes! That was my girl. She was sleeping on my shoulder. 

But where is She??? I looked around desperately to find her. All that I could find was her shadow on the wall with all her seductive curves. Could she have left a note for me in the table? I wanted to get up and explore. But I didn’t want to disturb my girl’s sleep. I closed my arms around her and held her closer to me.

Did a sigh leave me without a warrant? I stared blankly at the ceiling…The blades of the fan was slicing it's own shadows...

O My God!!!! (Short Play)

Scene I:

It’s a late evening. The Man and the Dog comes walking down a lonely road. The Man looks despondent and lost. He is an Atheist and is at the very edge of compromising his intellectual ideals and believes. He recently lost all his wealth in a gamble. He’s flat broke and left with a huge debt which he knows he can never pay back. He’s contemplating suicide but the only thing that stops him is his 4 year old daughter and his ever loving wife. He doesn’t know where to turn to for help and the situation is quite bleak. That morning he got a legal notice saying that all his movable and immovable wealth will be seized by the court if not he pays back the loan he took from a bank. “God alone can save him”.

Jimmy is two years old and is his pet dog. It’s a Labrador, jet black and most loyal to its master as any other dog is. It doesn’t need a leash around its neck when it’s taken out for a walk because it doesn’t dare defy its master’s commands. It walks proud beside its master with a red collar knowing that no one else can protect its master better than him. “Is the dog out for a stroll with its master or the master out with the dog?” I think it’s better to be left to your imaginations!

The Man sits down on a rock and stares at the Heaven, stretching his both arms at the star studded sky, his eyes brimming with tears.

The Man: “Oh God! I’ve defied you all my life and here I’m… I accept my defeat… Aren’t you seeing this??? Save me if you can…”

The Dog sniffs around in the nearby bushes and marks its territory by urinating at the bark of a tree.

Scene II:

God is sitting with a shot of one of the most exotic of ethereal whiskies in a crystal glass carelessly held in his hand. He is brooding of the biggest mistake that he committed – the creation of man. He was getting completely beaten down by the Devil and couldn’t match upto the candid evil of the Devil. And so he created man, the least, he’d be left with someone or something to sing in praise of him in spite of all his continuous defeats. But his biggest of the mistakes was not the creation of Man but to give him that extra thing called ‘Intelligence’ which God very discreetly avoided putting in any of his other creations. Now, Man, using his Intelligence as a tool, started speculating things – even the actions of his creator. God is loosing grounds and is worried that he is soon going to loose the trust, even of his created.

“Oh God! I’ve defied you all my life and here I’m… I accept my defeat… Aren’t you seeing this??? Save me if you can…” he hears a faint, distant sound from down under.

God keeps his shot of whisky aside and looks down to find a man with his both arms stretched and calling out for him. God smirked. “After all… There’s still hope…”

God got up and put on the best of his gowns and went down.

Scene III:

Suddenly God appears in front of the man and smiles at him. Man looks bewildered at God and rubs his eyes a few times. He struggles for a few seconds to come in terms with what has just happened to him. Jimmy becomes alert at the presence of someone new. He sniffs and gets the smell of whisky. He doesn’t like it and growls at God.

The Man: “Shhh… Jimmy. Behave yourself”

Jimmy wags its tail at its master but keeps guard least the drunkard attacks its master. Jimmy’s eyes keep darting between God and its master. It senses a danger and keeps an alert eye on the stranger.

The Man: Can I believe this??? Am I seeing what I’m seeing???

The God: My child. Believe what you see, for I’m the Real, the Illusion and the Merciful. I’m the God. I heard you cry out for me. And here I’m. Tell me child. What made your heart cry with such pain and passion for me?

The Man: O Divine! Don’t you know? Can’t you see my heart bleeding and resonating the melody of bliss of seeing you and all at the same time? Can’t you see that I’m dead and still alive? Can’t you…

The man completely breaks down and stoops at his knees, again stretching his arms at God. Tears trickle down his cheeks and he runs short of words… He keeps his stare on God and pleads with his brimming eyes.

God gets his victim and do not waste the chance to satisfy his sadistic pleasures. After all he too has emotions and was frustrated at his position. He maintains his smile.

The God: I see everything. It’s only your illusion that I’m blind – just the message from the wrong side of your brain that the Devil rules. But every Man has to go through this testing time. Though I’m your creator I do give you the liberty of choice. Though I’m your creator, I don’t want to rule you. Though I’m your creator, I don’t want to spare you the pains of your ignorance. I will put you through darkness for you to realize the glory of light. I will put you through pain and at times tortures for you to realize the worth of your existence. And all this and more because when you finally decide to come to me, I want you to realize that you are right in choosing me as the Savior, the Omnipotent, the Benevolent… The God.

The Man: Yes! Yes!! I do realize. I do realize it… All these years I’ve always denied your existence, always criticized your actions, always talked ill of you, threw stones at your image, laughed at people who sang praise of your glory… I… I… I did everything that was WRONG and yet… O, my!!! You Are the most merciful, the most benevolent, my savior… You are the GOD. I realize my mistakes. Here I’m. I’ll fall at your feet. Serve you the rest of my life…

The man stoops further and comes to a prostrate in front of God. He gets himself into a trance. Jimmy gets no clue of what’s happening. He sees his master lying flat on the ground in front of a drunkard. Jimmy keeps himself ready to pounce at the stranger at the first sign of any danger to its master.

“This is my chance. Give him what he wants and I get him as a slave for the rest of his life time. What more? He’s a fool unlike the others around me and he’s strong. Besides, he has his whims and fancies and as long as I can satisfy him, he’ll keep his trust and loyalty on me. I can groom him to be my next Commander. And the best Commander I can get too…”

God smiles at his little victory. He takes out his diamond studded magic wand with an ivory handle to shower his blessings on the man.

Jimmy smells danger and doesn’t hesitate a second. It pounces on the God and gets him right at the hand holding the wand. God shakes his hand violently and Jimmy is thrown aside with a good piece of bloody flesh between its canines. The wand flies off in another direction. God was completely shocked by this attack and he screams in pain. Jimmy gets to its all four and prepares itself for the next pounce. God doesn’t know what to do and he’s scared to his every nerve at the charging dog. He tries to grab his precious wand from the ground but decides for the better and flees for his life.

Scene IV:

The next day breaks open and the Man is still prostrating on the ground. Jimmy is lying next to him keeping an alert eye on its master and chewing on the ivory handle of the God’s magic wand. The first rays of the morning sun wakes him up from his deep slumber. He gets up on his knees and supports his fore-head with the palm of his hand. He has a splitting head-ache and feels his head heavy as if he was under some heavy dope. He tries to recollect the events of the previous night. He’s dazed and confused. His body is weak because of the heavy emotional toll of the previous night. He’s unable to keep his eyes open. He leans on a nearby boulder and looks around for Jimmy with his weary eyes.

The Man: Jimmy

“Woof” answers the dog in response and goes near its master wagging its tail and putting down the wand. Jimmy starts licking its master’s face and he tries to push the dog away. Suddenly he sees something glitter near his feet. Focusing his eye on it, he finds an exotic wooden rod studded with diamonds and with an ivory handle. He takes it in his hand and Jimmy tries to play with him, tugging at the other end of the wand.

The Man: Jimmy, no!

Jimmy doesn’t concede to its master’s repeated warning. It was too much in a playful mood and it gets paid for its playfulness. It gets a hard smack on its head and finally let go of the wand. The Man investigates the rod in his hand and fills with joy at his finding. He runs his fingers over the diamonds and starts laughing aloud in joy.

The Man: O God! You are truly Great… I believe you. You Are The Merciful, The Benevolent, The Savior… You Are The Divine, The God. Here I’m. Your servant for a life time…

Scene V:

God is sitting all lost and dejected in his luxuriously cushioned Golden throne. He has a shot of his favorite whisky in a crystal glass carelessly held in his hand. His personal dress maker who is a young lad is sitting around behind a sewing machine tailoring a new and fashionable gown for him.

The Dress Maker: May I ask you something?

The God: (Disturbed from his contemplative mood) Ahm… What’s it? Come again?

The Dress Maker: May I ask you something.

The God: Yes

The Dress Maker: What happened to that gown which I made for you the last week? You said you’d be wearing it for your friend’s wedding and today morning I find your chauffeur using it to wipe the wind shield of your car? Didn’t you like it? But you rewarded me with your precious ring when I made you that saying that it was the best that I’ve ever made for you!

God gulps down the rest of the whisky in the crystal glass before answering.

The God: Did I say that it was the best gown you’ve ever made for me? Sorry, my child. I forgot about that. Actually I didn’t like it. But didn’t want to discourage you and kill your good spirit. Besides, there was something wrong with the way you made it. It came tearing off when I tried wearing it for a trial. But that’s ok. I’m not angry at you for that. Anyone would have his bad day! And don’t look so dejected. I know you are the best dress maker in heaven. Or why would I employ you to make my dresses?

God walks upto the Dress Maker and caresses his head. The Dress Maker smiles most innocently at God’s attention and care. The chauffeur comes in to place the morning posts at God’s desk. He was listening to the whole conversation while he was walking the long carpeted way from the door of the room to the desk. He struts back till the door and once he came out of the room he startes rolling in mud with laughter.

Life (Poem)

Life is an ocean of Sorrow and

Happiness islands of comfort in it.

Man, a servile swimmer in the hands of an unknown master,

beats a race against the tides,

starting from the land of Birth to reach the unknwn land of Death.

Sneak-peak is a funny business (Short story)

It was just a couple of days since we moved into our new house. Things were not in their places. The house owner had warned us about the few burglaries that went around there in the last few weeks and hence asked us to be careful. I’m someone who gets a bit cooked up about such issues. But Meera was different. She is an easy-go type and refuses to be too careful about just anything.

That day, she left me with our 4 months old baby to give attendance in her new office. I, being a freelance photographer had the levity of staying back home (or so, she presumed). I was left with our 4 months old son and the household stuffs to be taken cared of.

It would have been half past ten in the morning and the baby started crying. It threw a nasty tantrum when I tried to feed him with the bottle of milk. He kept pushing away the bottle. I wondered why babies had to be so merciless with their dads. I was into a predicament when I realized the cause for my babe’s tantrums. “What a fool I was!” He was not hungry but his diaper was wet. Ah! The toughest job! I am very clumsy with this assignment and Meera knew that. So, she had already prepared an ‘instruction manual’ in her own hand as to how I should go about doing it.

I failed at my first attempt to change the diaper. Several rounds of attempts followed but I still couldn’t manage it. I thought of taking a break and then give it one last try (after all what’s the use of this whole business? He’s going to wet it again, right?). I stretched myself and extracted a cigarette from the packet on the table. As I was about to light it I noticed a figure sneaking near the window. It was a dark man snooping around. My suspicion rose and I went near the window just to find the man turning the corner of our house. I got out and gave a through check of the grounds but in vein. The dark man was no longer there. I became a bit nervous.

After a few minutes I finally decided to let it go and went inside my house to give one last try at changing the diaper. This time I took the baby from our bedroom and put him on our dining table. I stretched the piece of instruction manual neatly beside the baby and began working on it again. And yes!!! I finally made it and my baby gave me an encouraging smile. Did I hear him say, "Encore-encore?"

“Thank you”, I said to the baby with a grandiose wave of my hand. But again there he was - the dark man at the window peeking into our private world.

This time I was determined not to let him escape. I ran out of my house at a dizzy pace and skidded around the corner of our house just in time to find him jumping over the wall to the next house. After landing into the next compound he suddenly put on a casual air and walked into that house.

“What’s happening here?” I couldn’t understand. I waited for a moment considering things and then decided to follow him. I jumped over the wall and tried peeking into the house through every open window.

“This is fun!” I never knew peeking into others house was amusing. I was a bit nervous though.

And suddenly... Did I hear a baby cry?

I thought I was imagining it (after all, that’s what I’ve been hearing for the past half an hour). “I’m just imagining it”, I convinced myself.

But no. I heard it again. Is my baby crying again? No. The sound was coming from within this house and I was nearing the sound more and more. I found a window next to me open and I cautiously peeked in through it. And what did I see in there?

My good Lord! I couldn’t believe it.

Another unlucky father and a baby with a wet diaper!!!